Song of the Week

This is one of my favorite songs from the Hmong rock band, The Sounders.  It conveys a sort of nostalgic, haunting feeling of unfulfilled love between a couple in the old days.  So while listening to it about two years ago, it became an inspiration for a subplot to my in-progress story, Nkauj Nog.  Keep an eye out for that...

The Sounders – Puas Kho Koj Siab

Verse 1

Qaim lub hli

The moon is full

Es koj puas tseem nco txog

Do you still remember (me)?

Kuv tseem nco koj xwb

I still remember you only

Kuv tseem tshua koj xwb

I am still fond of you only

Tus duab ntxoov ntxoo

The shadow

Uas nyob ntawm kuv ib sab

That stands beside me

Zoo li twb yog koj

It seems as if it is you

Cas ho tsis yog koj

But it is not you

Song of the Week

(I thought this was a really nice Hmong Chinese song, to be exact the singer is Ahmao, but it was a bit of a challenge to understand and translate because the singer has an accent.  I couldn't really make out some of the words she was singing in the chorus in particular, so I tried my best to translate so that it makes some sense.)

Luo Na Yi - Koj Tias Kuv Tsis Hlub

Koj tias, kuv zoo xws rev paj tawg

You said that I am like a blooming flower

Tsuas yog pom kuv luag ntxhi

As long as I smile

Koj tsuas zoo siab

You are happy

Koj tias, koj tsuas hlub kuv ib leeg

You said that you would love only me

Yuav hlub txog hnub uas kawg koj lub neej

Love till the last day of your life

Nkauj Nog Chapter 1

The color of the morning sky did not change much from its night counterpart.  The clouds appeared liked a herd of gigantic dark and angry elephants, readied to destroy anyone and anything in its path.  The wind blew turbulently at times, flaunting its prowess and forcing everything except the sturdiest object to bend before its greatness.  The heavens did not smile with its bright orange flames, but instead, wished to cry any minute.  It seemed as if the heavens was moved by the goodness of someone below, and pitied that person very much.

A woman, slender and graceful, stood patiently by the gate of a manor as if waiting for her husband.  Although there were loud cheers and laughter vibrating from inside the main courtyard, the woman’s face was pale and wet with tears.  She looked past the gate to the far distance, and then back at her abdomen.  She touched it and more tears flowed down her cheeks.  Her husband did not know that she was with child for a few months already.

“Nyab—Sister-in-Law!” a woman called from behind.

“Mab, it’s you,” the woman by the gate turned around and answered.

“Nyab, don’t shed anymore tears.  I too am saddened by what my brother has done to you, but no matter what, what has been done has already been done.  Whether anyone likes it or not, Luj Tuam is bringing his second wife home today.  Let’s just consider that this is your fate so the only thing you can do now is continue to be a good-hearted person who does the right thing.  One day, the sky will brighten and my brother will see your goodness.”

Nkauj Nog Prologue

            Once upon a time, the Miao lived in the fertile valley of the Yellow River.  Although majestic and grand, the river often flooded during the rainy season and swallowed many lives.  For some, the catastrophic circumstance was so intolerable that they were prompted to follow Txiv Yawg—Chiyou, to the northern land where they established the magnificent, technologically-advanced Kuj Cuab Cuaj Lig Ntuj—Juili Kingdom.  It was only after Txiv Yawg was defeated and lost his life at Lima Pass to the Yellow Emperor—Huangdi, that the Juili Miao crossed the river once more and returned south to reunite with their Miao relatives.

The Juili Miao soon discovered that their southern counterparts were scattered everywhere, dwelling a poor and backward lifestyle that lacked structure, leadership, and unity as a people.  They knew that in order to lead a life of comfort and prosperity, the Miao people must be organized into a civilization.  Thus, the Juili Miao became the leaders and applied Txiv Yawg’s innovative and profound principles of governorship, development, and solidarity to change the future of the Miao.  But the Miao homeland was impressive.  To reduce the daunting task of governing such an enormous country where some citizens may not even be aware of the existence of a monarch, the Miao leaders decided that it was wisest to divide the land into three kingdoms to better facilitate the process of ruling a people.  The western kingdom became known as Cuaj Zag—Nine Dragons; the middle kingdom was known as Lig Xia—Blue Li; and the eastern kingdom was termed Ntuj Kag—Clear Heavens.  So for a period of time this notion of governance flourished, and the three kingdoms existed peacefully and harmonically—prospering together.

But civilization and progress often lured attention, jealousy, and lust from neighbors.  Lingering in the northern land was the old nemesis of the Juili Miao—the Suav, descendants of the Yellow Emperor and his people.  Their population was booming but land became scarce.  When they heard of the prolific soil in the south, they gradually embarked on the journey south like large groups of infesting locusts and began to intrude and rob land away from the native inhabitants until they finally approached the northern border of the three kingdoms. 

Leej Nus Ntxim Hlub

              “General Manager, you are my most loyal employee and friend,” the chairman said.  A man of robust and charismatic features, there were light patches of skinfolds around his eyes, his hair had a mixture of gray and white strands, and he appeared overwhelm and tire.  “Tell me honestly, except for Suab Kaj, don’t you find the rest of my daughters very useless?”

                “Chairman, I…” the general manager answered hesitatingly.

                “You don’t need to pity anyone of them,” the chairman brushed his secretary off.  “I am their father.  I know how they are.  The eldest spends all her time shopping and making herself look pretty, the second one cares only about cooking, the third and fourth are flirtatious silly girls who hit on every man they see…old or young, the fifth is a bookworm who spits out nonsense every time she opens her mouth, and the sixth…well…she just doesn’t say or do much.  And who is to blame for all of this?”

                “No one, Chairman.”

                “That’s where you are wrong, General Manager!” the chairman shouted.  “You need not be afraid of being frank to me.  You should say that everything is your fault, Chairman.  You were the one too busy running your business that you’ve neglected your family.  Without their mother, instead of showering them with love, you’ve showered them with money to make up for the times you couldn’t spend with them.  In the end, it was you who turned them into useless creatures who can be of no help to you...again, except for the little one.  Thank the heavens for giving her a little more wit than her sisters.”  He sighed.  “But I won’t live forever to take care of them.  What will their lives become when I perish one day?   So General Manager, ask me how I’m going to fix this mess?”

A Candlelight Dream

 



            The beat of the Miao drum rumbles fiercely like thunder, like the beating heart of a people whose hope for freedom sways with the flickering of a candle’s flame.  Blood splatters everywhere, the cries of injustice echoing throughout the majestic hillsides.  I walk through the scene one last time, untainted by its brutality.  I feel like a mere helpless transparent ghost who can only glance from afar.  No matter how much I scream, no matter how much my heart ache with theirs—I can do nothing now.  The two worlds are drifting apart and I am being pulled back to the life I once knew. 

            I stare at an oil-painting of a young and beautiful Manchu princess sitting next to her husband.  “Isn’t she beautiful?” I ask.  “But she’s not coming back.  That’s the path that she has chosen.  Don’t worry.  Perhaps that’s her fate.  She will be happy there.”  I smile, and my stepmother weeps.

            But deep down in my heart, I know that I will miss her—my half-sister.  In this lifetime, I will never meet her again.  This is my punishment, for neglecting a beloved sister in this world and for turning an innocent young lady into a demon.  But no matter how much hatred is in her heart, perhaps she is the stronger one; the one who is willing to trade a life here for that life there, simply to be able to live with him and be loved for who she is.

            It is me, who is the real coward.  Like I’ve abandoned her here, I have once more decided to abandon him there. 

Every time I close my eyes, I still see him standing there—playing his qeej beautifully and happily beside the luxuriant blue bamboo forest.  The waterwheels cranked melodically and harmonically, pouring clear water into the river that was so clear the pebbles at the bottom appeared liked a well-played chess game.  That’s the image that I want to forever remember of him.    

But I know his ending too well.  Whether I stay with him or not, I cannot change what is predestined to happen.  It is better that I not see his tragic ending.

            Love, however, is something that defies the test of time, the will of heaven, and the laws of the universe.  No matter where we both are, our hearts will always be together.

            I know that in spring when I admire the pink blooming plum buds, he smiles with me; in summer when my hands are touching the cool June rain, his hands are brushing past the dripping heavenly water too; in autumn when the dancing leaves make my heart withers, he too longs for my presence; and in winter when snowflakes flutter gracefully to weave the earth ground into a soft blanket, we will both walk together under the magical winter moonlight.  With every step I take to glide forward, he moves with me.  Although we can no longer see each other, we’ve never parted…

            So they are among us and we are among them.  The two worlds march forward in synchrony and harmony.  We need their world to keep going so that we may be their future.  And we need to keep going so that our descendants may have a future.  And thus the two worlds continue to move apart with every click of time until someday when the right conditions bring the parallel worlds to meet once more...