Friday, October 5, 2012

A Candlelight Dream

 

            The beat of the Miao drum rumbles fiercely like thunder, like the beating heart of a people whose hope for freedom sways with the flickering of a candle’s flame.  Blood splatters everywhere, the cries of injustice echoing throughout the majestic hillsides.  I walk through the scene one last time, untainted by its brutality.  I feel like a mere helpless transparent ghost who can only glance from afar.  No matter how much I scream, no matter how much my heart ache with theirs—I can do nothing now.  The two worlds are drifting apart and I am being pulled back to the life I once knew. 

            I stare at an oil-painting of a young and beautiful Manchu princess sitting next to her husband.  “Isn’t she beautiful?” I ask.  “But she’s not coming back.  That’s the path that she has chosen.  Don’t worry.  Perhaps that’s her fate.  She will be happy there.”  I smile, and my stepmother weeps.

            But deep down in my heart, I know that I will miss her—my half-sister.  In this lifetime, I will never meet her again.  This is my punishment, for neglecting a beloved sister in this world and for turning an innocent young lady into a demon.  But no matter how much hatred is in her heart, perhaps she is the stronger one; the one who is willing to trade a life here for that life there, simply to be able to live with him and be loved for who she is.

            It is me, who is the real coward.  Like I’ve abandoned her here, I have once more decided to abandon him there. 

Every time I close my eyes, I still see him standing there—playing his qeej beautifully and happily beside the luxuriant blue bamboo forest.  The waterwheels cranked melodically and harmonically, pouring clear water into the river that was so clear the pebbles at the bottom appeared liked a well-played chess game.  That’s the image that I want to forever remember of him.    

But I know his ending too well.  Whether I stay with him or not, I cannot change what is predestined to happen.  It is better that I not see his tragic ending.

            Love, however, is something that defies the test of time, the will of heaven, and the laws of the universe.  No matter where we both are, our hearts will always be together.

            I know that in spring when I admire the pink blooming plum buds, he smiles with me; in summer when my hands are touching the cool June rain, his hands are brushing past the dripping heavenly water too; in autumn when the dancing leaves make my heart withers, he too longs for my presence; and in winter when snowflakes flutter gracefully to weave the earth ground into a soft blanket, we will both walk together under the magical winter moonlight.  With every step I take to glide forward, he moves with me.  Although we can no longer see each other, we’ve never parted…

            So they are among us and we are among them.  The two worlds march forward in synchrony and harmony.  We need their world to keep going so that we may be their future.  And we need to keep going so that our descendants may have a future.  And thus the two worlds continue to move apart with every click of time until someday when the right conditions bring the parallel worlds to meet once more...          



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